Changing the Rules

I have this idea that I want to do things differently – always have. Kind of ironic, as in actual action I am generally an avid rule follower and almost always play by the rules. And see that I tend to get quite mired in habitual patterns (more on this in another post to come!) But I have recently noticed how this deep-down desire to do things differently has often paralyzed me in action. I am a coach – a life coach, a holistic health and wellness coach – I think what I’d like to call myself is a transformational coach – I will hold your hand, hold up the mirror, listen completely, create the space, help you find your steps and solutions, hold you to taking action on them – I will help and support you in effecting sustainable shifts in your life to help you get from where you are to where you want to be, and I will do it compassionately. But for some reason I’ve not wanted to go out there and shout about it. I’ve not wanted to toot my own horn. I want to do it subtly and let the work speak for itself. I know I also have some fear around being good enough and wise enough to do this work (you all know that one, don’t you?!) Anyway, the challenge is, I live in a world and a society where in order to connect with the right clients, they need to know you exist and be able to find you (I know, sounds pretty logical and obvious!). And in this work, they usually also need some time to get to know you – to gain some comfort with you, to trust that you are the one to help them with this work. Which means I need to speak up – and share – so you can all get to know me…

So, in seeking support to help me break out of my own little box – to stop blocking myself, the idea was presented to me that I can certainly change the rules if I want, I have that power and capacity, but first I need to get in the game by playing by the existing rules. On some level, I hear this as, so, I need to do what I don’t want to do in ways I don’t want to  do them  in order to shift into what I want do and the way I want to do it. But that is a bit of a victim statement and has a fairly negative slant. So what I’m playing with instead is this: How can I play by the existing rules with a touch of my own “way” from the start? I think this probably lies in my intention and my approach and energy I put into do things by the rules.

I’ve had this conversation recently with a couple of colleagues and friends who also want to do things differently. I know there are loads of innovators out there. And I think we have all found this thought provoking. The thing is – I’m sick of paralyzing myself – I’m sick of not being heard – I’m sick of not doing more of the work I really want to do. So I’m ready to try new ways – new rules, old rules. I’m ready to explore the options and create a new way for me from my old way. To create different results, I need to take different actions. And it is time to ACT!

Let’s carry on this conversation…What are your perspectives on “the rules” that are present in your life and work? What do you think of following the rules and changing the rules in your life and how to you act as a result?

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